


Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

by Adamarks



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: I'm really sorry, M/M, cowboy simon, horny dreams, like really really sorry, no real sex happens but it's like almost there y'know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 08:46:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamarks/pseuds/Adamarks
Summary: I saddle up my horse, and I ride into the city.Baz has a weird dream.





	Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theflyingpeach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyingpeach/gifts).

> Well, I walk into the room  
Passing out hundred dollar bills  
And it kills, and it thrills, like the horns on my silverado grill

By all accounts, the dream started out normal. Well, as normal as dreams get. 

He’d been eating crisps with Doctor Who (Simon had made them watch it before bed. Yes, he knows he’s technically called “the Doctor.”) (Which doctor? Good question. All he knew was that it was  _ a  _ Doctor.) 

But then the Doctor (whichever one it may have been) exclaimed that they were needed on important business and they must head for the TARDIS at once! Baz had followed along, because you follow the Doctor— it’s just what you do. 

“Why’s the TARDIS a truck?” He’d asked. And suddenly he was in an old rinky-dink truck heading down a flat interstate with cornfields to either side. The corn was at its tallest and gusts of wind picked through it like children playing tag. 

He looked to his left and there sat Simon, manspreading and driving like he’d been doing it since time began. His arm was flung on the seat behind Baz’s head. He tilted his head until it was resting on Simon’s forearm. Simon looked over, glowing. He was wearing a blue checked shirt that brought out his blue blue blue eyes and he was golden golden golden golden. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Baz had said. Simon suddenly had a cowboy hat on but he didn’t pay it mind because the truck was parked and Simon was reaching over to kiss him. 

“I love you,” he whispered against his lips. 

“I love you too, Baz,” Simon whispered back. He sounded a little different from normal. 

Next thing Baz knew, he was pressed to the side of the truck. Simon no longer had his shirt on but he’d managed to keep the hat. Baz ran his nails down Simon’s pecs and pinched his nipples. Simon growled and gripped his arse tighter. 

Baz left his hands meander as they so chose. There was no rush. They had all the time in the world...

His fingers found a strap of leather going along Simon’s waist and then below that… only skin. He stopped kissing and looked down to see Simon wearing leather chaps…. 

_ Assless chaps, _ his brain supplied. 

_ Wait…  _

Simon pushed in closer and Baz looked back up to find a sneaky grin on his face. 

“Like what ya see there, pardner?” 

_ Something’s very wrong,  _ Baz thought. But then Simon’s face was suddenly down at his crotch and his fly was open and Simon was mouthing at his pants. “Yeehaw,” he said, before yanking Baz’s jeans down. 

He leaned his head back onto the truck. 

_ Save a horse. Ride a cowb— _

Baz woke up in a cold sweat, rock hard, and tangled in the sheets. He couldn’t look Simon in the eyes the next day. 

Even worse, he’s been contemplating buying Simon a ten gallon hat ever since. 

**Author's Note:**

> I shouldn't be allowed a wifi connection. This isn't Peach's fault but it feels like it should be. I'm very sorry.


End file.
